Let’s face it. Sometimes we are so focused on our kids that we forget about the super cool couples that created these little humans. If you are like my husband and me, you might find yourselves on a Sunday afternoon sprawled out on the family room couches, feeling flat out tired, while your toddler naps. Our conversation went something like this -
Me: You okay?
Him: Yeah, I think so. You?
Me: Tired. And I feel kind of bummed out. When was the last time you did something for you that made you feel happy?
Him: I don’t even know.
Before we were parents it was a lot easier to go out on a whim and do something fun! We travelled, tried new places for dinner, and snuggled in on Saturday mornings. My husband could catch up with friends over a round of golf while I sweat it out in a yoga studio. The freedom made it a lot easier to connect, communicate, and resolve any issues that came up between us. Besides connecting with my husband, it was also a whole lot easier to connect with myself! Although I am happy with our decision for me to be a stay-at-home mom, there are a lot of things I miss about my old life as a working professional. I had great co-workers, an active social life, and felt proud of my accomplishments in the digital marketing industry.
Now that I’m a mom I’m realizing that the saying “Happy wife, happy life” has a whole lot of truth to it! And I don’t mean it’s up to my husband to keep me happy. Feeling good about myself gives me more energy to focus on my family, fulfill my responsibilities as a mom, and be more attentive and supportive to my husband. A friend of mine made a comment on her Facebook page that struck a chord with me and I want to share it with you. (Side note – follow Judy Hu Counseling Services on Facebook! Judy is an amazing mom, Psychotherapist and Parent Coach. She shares some great stuff on her page!) She suggests, “The adjustment to a growing family can be easier if the priority is shared between self care, partner care, and child care…priority in that order.” It makes sense, doesn’t it? If I am happy, we are happy. A child will thrive in a home with a strong foundation built on happy, loving parents.
Having my son has been the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. He has altered the way I look at myself, my husband, and the world around me. He will be two years old next week and I’m turning 30 a couple of weeks after that! I’ve been on quite a personal journey over the past couple of years, and I’m just now realizing that it’s possible to find a balance between who I used to be and who I am now. With a little faith and a lot of hard work I can achieve both personal and professional success. One thing is for certain. Next time we ask each other, “When was the last time you did something for you that made you happy?” I want us both to have an answer. I think the world would be happier place if we all took the time to answer that question. If you love your family, love yourself!
Love, peace, and happiness to all!